Pamela Courson Loves Jim Morrison Part 5

We live on Love Street in a house with garden, maybe not yet but someday. Jim’s going to buy a church in the south of France and we’ll turn it into a wonderful home. He owes me for so often loving me the wrong way; I ache and have to grab thorazine and other things in my purse then try someone new. Some rock wives are like their husbands, even without weddings.

We’re responsible when we can be. I think I’m with Jim Friday July second, 1971. It’s possible I’m out with friends. I already know many exciting people in Paris, and they’re much mellower than heavy drinkers like Jim but they’re not him. I’m home with Jim listening to L.A. Woman and his coughing. Quit smoking Jim, not just tonight but forever. He starts hacking out blood, balls of it.

I should call the doctor but am pretty loaded for that. Jim should call too, you know. We don’t want to deal with them. I just want to sleep. At three a.m. July third I wake with Jim not cuddled next to me and stagger to the bathroom door. It’s locked. I hammer the door and scream for Jim to unlock it but he won’t and I call my friend the French count. He’s in bed with Mick Jagger’s ex, Marianne Faithfull, but hurries over and breaks the window, reaches in to open the door, and we see Jim asleep in the tub.The count slaps him slaps him harder several times then tells me he loves me but has to go.

I call another friend and we try to think about this. He notifies a trustworthy doctor and the police. I’m hysterical but kind of control it when I talk to them. After they leave I cry again for Jim and worry the next doctor who comes will demand an autopsy. If he does, what’ll happen to me? When we’re alone I hold Jim’s hand and ask what he wants me to do. Please don’t desert me again. Let me hug you. I’m going to forever.

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Retrieved on 30 December 2018 from

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